To avoid falling into despair, the better the serenity. sedate serenity to keep to the most adverse circumstances. order not to waste energy with the anguish, the better the serenity. In times of tension is not thinking clearly, the better the serenity. Filled strength to make you master of your emotions to dominate you. Calmly adversity you focus, think before you decide.
Value Remove guts to stand to defend our principles, beliefs, values, to be authentic, transparent and consistent, but remain vulnerable. Remove courage to endure and understand the personal injustice and others. Wisdom
To be able to discern sustained in serenity.
"God grant me the serenity to accept things I can not change. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference between the two "
The previous post tried information on the Johari window. In our interaction with people communicating information of which we are not aware, but that other people do capture. By interacting reflect our way of being, thinking, how we speak and interact with others, and so on.
To be aware of some behaviors that show in different areas of our life, we receive answers from these blind spots in the second quadrant of the Johari window. The way to get information is through feedback , which I wrote a post with all the appropriate steps to offer assertively.
The feedback should be asked (You can ask someone you trust to tell you how you see.). Making conscious aspects that others recognize us for our behavior can help reinforce appropriate behavior: "You're a very receptive, caring, and this makes me feel secure and confident", or conversely may also provide the person decides to change some kind of inappropriate behavior or little leverage in this case should not be giving ammunition to hear about something that we were not aware, the attitude should be listening to what we are told, with the idea of \u200b\u200bsubsequently digest, processing.
Confront and grow
personally.
relates to confront or to cross-examine a person's face with someone to debate or discuss an issue or to discuss their allegations.
In this case, the confrontation will be oriented to personal confrontation, with yourself and mirror. It requires the person to focus on their own inner experience.
describing the behavior through the feedback it can be positive or negative valence, it often happens that when describing bad behavior (valence negative) feedback recipient suffers some impact, because they are behaviors that were unknown (blind area)
Initially, the other (who offers the feedback) is a mirror makes you look where your weaknesses and strengths, the attitude of you, it is of attention, listening to what you're told.
A feedback given in an inappropriate manner, making judgments of value: "Do not deliver work on time as always you are an irresponsible," "whenever you make a mistake that stupid you are", will bring as a logical consequence a defensive reaction. It tries to describe the behavior, not assessed.
need to see each other, and this should be a person of our confidence that we are valued, respected and capable from empathy to give us accurate information.
In the second stage, you focus on addressing the behavior you mentioned in personal mirror, where you look to face what is not satisfactory.
Autoconfrontar involves reviewing
areas of our lives, reflect, sincerarte, open your eyes, have a conversation with yourself (a), is a capability that allows us to know, understand in order to have clear who we are, implies a personal review, which will expand our free area.
Advantages of self-confrontation.
Concientizamos some inappropriate behavior that can affect the interaction with the other. Lets realize our limitations. Think about the consequences of our behavior. And think about alternatives for change.
Darte el permiso de confrontar tus comportamientos mueve los recursos personales internos, y permite tener claro que deseamos cambiar.
Allows self-knowledge and self-reflection and interaction, feedback, communication with others.
was created by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham. It consists of four quadrants in the window that divided the personal knowledge in four areas: open, blind, hidden, dark.
Open area: It is physical knowledge, intellectual, spiritual, I know about myself and others as well. That is, motivations, desires, tastes, experiences that the person has been released.
blind Area: is information about my behavior that others see me, but I do not know. The information I offer the other aspects I do not know, allows us to see ourselves as others see us.
hidden Area: contains the same information you know about him, but which are unknown to others, is not revealed, hidden secrets.
dark area: is the unknown area by both the person affected as others. Are those aspects of personality which is not much less people relate to one known. There are unexplored aspects, interpersonal dynamics, events that occurred in childhood, undiscovered resources, etcetera.
These areas are not static, are movable, ie moving from one quadrant to another, depending on the degree of information that the person receives about itself in its relationship with the other and at the request of itself, that is, asking how I see it.
If you ask me to describe another, and as long as there is sufficient confidence that the other you know, you could get information from the blind area, areas not known to you than the person te ha visto, ejemplo: “cuando hablas tiendes a no mirar a los ojos y esto me hace sentir un poco de desconfianza”. La persona que recibe esta información está en este momento conociendo que en su relación interpersonal no mira de frente. Esta información agranda ahora su área libre.
Cuando producto de la interacción y confianza la persona decide correr el riesgo de revelar parte de sus secretos (área oculta) crece la ventana del área libre y se achica la del área oculta, lo cual puede resultar en un alivio para la persona ya que lo oculto, secreto puede llenarse de fantasías catastróficas vistas desde la lupa del afectado. Una visión objetiva which is outside demystify can allow or lift the veil on certain assumptions, clarifying the vision of the affected staff.
The dark area may shrink when I decide to seek professional guidance to unveil aspects stored in my unconscious. The interpretation of dreams, the material offered through projective tests, reveals some of this information.
The Johari window, to reflect and to confront some personal issues once they pass our free area. Extend the open area produces the other areas are reduced and improves our communication, and self. It can be applied to personal growth, and in contact with the other, I use it in group dynamics and is a very useful tool.
In another post extend information about the communication received through a successful feedback and confrontation.
